Laundry Day

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There’s something about freshly washed laundry to spark a memory.

As I was hanging up my wet clothes to dry in the fresh air I remembered being with Mom on one visit where we exchanged favorite items we once valued with each other.

She gifted me a scarf from her treasure trove and I passed on a used makeup bag no longer wanted. What amazed me about her actions was that she truly coveted this old makeup bag and spent the next hour or so soaking it, rubbing it, and hanging it out to dry to be made new, so to speak.

I thought of that memory this morning as I was hanging up a blouse and my emotion caught the best of me. I sunk into that moment just being together – sharing tips from each other and honoring the exchange of our simple stuff.  I love her so just for being a girl with me –

I’ve shot many photographs of clotheslines and fresh laundry. This is one of my earliest – fresh cotton diapers blowin in the wind. I’ve folded my share of those in another lifetime.

It’s the purity, the profound whiteness, the freshness of something renewed that triggers my attachment.

Spring is here. Time to renew and begin again and again.

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Lessons of the Waxing Moon

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I woke up at 3:30 and clearly knew I was being summoned. I found my robe and slippers and made my way with cat companion toward that first cup of coffee.  My laptop and the shimmering moonlight provided the only light I needed to write.

Why was this particular year feeling literally like a new birth – I was in this uncomfortable labor –  another chapter was imminent –knowing I needed to be in the un-comfort zone so transformation can happen.  I shred my thoughts, quirks, fears, and concerns, all on the page via swift movement on the keyboard.

I have been in action mode for most of my life. My work involves service and my art is finding its way to and through that service. The new reality is in the merging of my worlds and trust that is inevitable to be there.

I looked up to witness a veil covering the waxing moon.  I was reminded of yesterday’s insightful thoughts – to be in stillness, allow the silence, the non-movement –sleep, rest – all part of this trajectory of life I have chosen and all serve me as I make my way through the complexities.

My daily writing ritual and the moon’s teaching – its veil symbolizing the acknowledgement to retreat and have patience and trust my discerning movements and choices to be in the void of nothingness. Soon the illuminating moon will be full.

These are gifts of this birthday year.

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Good Morning Mid-January

There’s a momentary pause in the rain. Like space in between the words I write. Voids in the day. To be filled or fulfilled. And really, does it matter?

I walked in the rain last night to catch the bus – I needed the almost-mile walk up the blocks dodging puddles and umbrellas and being in the space to catch manna falling from the sky. My body was in heaven giving me thanks for taking it out to stretch, to move, to feel the impact of water.

I’m hydrating more. Realizing how water has an effect on inflammation in the body – we are mostly water – and how simple to know that this one action we can do helps maintain a sense of well being.
1Solstice shotIMG_0210I feel such a strong sense of home when I am near the ocean.  It took me more than 30 years to discover the sea and now, more than 30 years later, I’m unsure how I would manage without it being steps away.

It reflects the sea inside of me and the enormity of possibility and expansion and solace and comfort. The forces are endless. Like rain on my face, I am continually nourished by its bounty.

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Edging into Winter

As the temps slide down I find myself squirming to locate my nestling spot.  There’s so much to do and be done and it’s the holidays and this and that and and…wait stop.  Take a breath.  Been quite the busy year.  And goodness me, I crossed over to a new chapter…marriage.  My love, my anchor, now borders me in ways beyond comprehension and I find myself smiling inside and out.  And, more importantly, the desire to go deeper…in my work, relationships, service, and at the top of the list, my ART.

Daily I point my camera/ phone at even the simplest of subjects.  I allow the motion to keep pushing me forward and hold the vision a new body of work emerges.  I know I am a vessel and my daily practice is to allow the expansion in its own time. And in the interim I just keep toe-stepping to the dance.

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Summer Surprises

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I heard the other day it’s the end of summer.  I thought, no, it’s only mid-summer — still time to frolic and figure out some things because once Labor Day comes it’s non-stop.  So luxuriate, work when necessary, and take time to stretch out those lazy days of summer – like the one we had recently in San Francisco where the temp was way past 80.  I got to lay on the grass in a park and lo and behold saw a sliver of a rainbow.  What a delight and a surprise.  Everywhere is possibility.

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W A T E R

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It’s wake up time.  Our precious resource of water is in danger of disappearing.  I admit I love my baths.  I think harder about how much I fill the tub and how long my shower is.  We are being called to a higher task – globally  – and how we, as global collective, can impact this most serious threat.

I shoot water all the time.  It draws me to unknown places of intrigue and delight.  From this point forward as I look at water, as I point my camera, as my hands turn it on to wash a dish — I purposely intend to use it consciously and respectfully.

 

 

 

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Restraining Order on Fear

Sound like a good idea?  I woke up swimming in all “this and that” and decided it was time to enforce my restraining order on fear, stress, et all.

So be it.  It’s in place.  My camera has days when it sits on my shoulder waiting -wanting – attempting to move in any direction of action.  Like the water trickling down the rock to meet other rocks, sometimes the movement is just what it is – barely movable. And other days, like this morning, when the mind is so active, I shoot a picture in my mind of this image — slow trickle.  Ease into the day and allow action at its due time.

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Emotional Edginess

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The rooftop gremlins woke us up around 3:40am.  I was in the middle of a dream – appropriate for the disruption.

My love insisted on going up on the roof to survey the situation, returning to say a new neighbor had been locked out and climbed up the fire escape to eventually make her way and her rather inebriated friend’s way to her apartment window.

They took a detour however, and danced above our heads with only the rooftop and what seemed to be a thin layer of plaster separating us.  It was a riveting uncomfortable feeling of invasion.

I thought about how close the edge shows up forcing me to border my life with shoulds and rules.  Not so with my art.  My camera steers in the direction of the usual, the off- beat.  I am led down a path with only my tool and gut to guide me.  Complete trust.

I would like to think that at this stage I am the creator of my own sovereignty.

I can remember sleeping on the rooftop of the Journalism building in college with buddies huddling together to stay warm delighting in our daring attempt to step out of the boundary.  It was a sense of freedom and freeze, upon waking up the next frosty morning.

The roof gremlins eventually disappeared.  I sunk back into my dream only to be faced with a new set of symbols to discern upon my awakening.  But hey, it was Saturday and I was in the safety of the uncharted morning to do as I pleased.

 

 

 

 

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Blissful bumps along the way

My birthday weekend was colored with all sorts of twisty turns and yet there’s that certain bliss one carries throughout the day that can’t help but hold you in a state of grace.

I realized a while ago I had two birthdays – my birth date and my soul date. On my soul date, the day after my birthday, I knew what I had to do.  It had been way too long since my toes touched the edge of the sea and I had pointed my camera at constant wave action.

Long ago a tea leaf reader told me I needed to spend more time at the water to open up to the expansiveness within me.  I took her advice and found myself living in a cottage by the sea for almost 12 years.

Now I live close enough I can feel the ocean only a few miles away and I am reminded of that soothsayer’s comment as I make my way to experience that peace.

I learned this week the so-called confusions along the way help give me profound clarity and I realize I need all those bumpy parts to make my path poised to power-down the trail.  

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Sparkle through the January gyrations

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Is it still January?  For years I’ve wanted to steal away for the month and return in February.  January brings out all the residual gunk you thought you let go of the previous year.

I powered through the holidays and dove into the New Year and then it kinda took me for several loops and mercury in retrograde reminded me (again) to completely surrender.  My yoga teacher posed a radical thought at the start of class:  “give up your relationship to yourself.”

At the time I didn’t want to analyze this intriguing statement…my body needed to just move into the free flow of shifting my brain chemistry.  Not surprisingly, at the end of class I got it.  Another jarring reminder.  My path is jagged, curvy, strangely creative, loving, frustrating, weird, all of the above and more.  My relationship to myself is solidly accepting just that.  I get that I need all the gyrations.  It makes me real and unique to what I bring to myself and others.  And, like the path photographed above, there’s always some sparkle.

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