Rain this morning. Delicious. Now the sun. It makes me glow. Heightened awareness. Okay so what’s that about….oh I just had an epiphany yesterday and suddenly — profoundly –realized in a somewhat much clearer way than ever before….that all I need to do is show up for me. No matter how desolate things can be, no matter how tremendous the challenges of every day health, work stuff, relationship fluctuations, etc etc etc — My real work is simply me. And once I put that front and center I truly believe I can do, achieve, create whatever I intend. It’s freeing to live in accord with my own true self. This is where I begin front and center and this is where I may serve through my art. May I open my heart wide to those closest and those on the street — to begin again and again.
Category Archives: Blog
My first photo essay column on Medium.com on the impact of Gloria Steinem’s actions and words. I shot one photograph 45 years ago and the others a few months ago. Her impact remains powerful. Thanks for taking a look and following me for future words.
I am learning – goodness me – over and over again – to experience the complexities of my life on different levels. Perhaps that it because I rise and fall and wallow in the in-betweens and then shift and move again in a new direction.
The rumbles are part of the big messy-like picture – and my mirror is spring with its unpredictability. It echoes the curvatures of my inner landscape.
All I need do is buckle up for the ride.
And continue to recalibrate so I may dive deeper in a new arena with the knowledge that creativity is my arsenal of pure energy. I need only to tap it gently to get the wheels in motion.
Life is fascinating in a myriad of ways. Probably my biggest lesson of late is the companion of my breath and its miraculous powers to settle me. (take five)
We’re in for rocky rides these days. My camera shoots what it will and sometimes it’s a blur of unsettledness and I know when I witness the image I just shot, it is a container of currents awakening me to new tunes.
And so is this season of Spring.
So much chatter going on these days in all areas of our world. I read the other day how important it is to sharpen our “response abilities.” Respond in a fashion that takes us to a different place rather than reacting right away. It’s so easy to just react. I find I’m hitting that pause button more and more.
The ocean is such an anchor for me. I give so much gratitude for being able to witness the mighty sea at almost any day I choose. And it helps remind me to be okay with all the changes. There’s an ebb and flow to everything. I grab my camera and just go.
I feel Autumn inside and out. The wind is not quite warm and not quite cold. it just is.
I trolled Market Street with my camera seeking subjects that called to me. I was on assignment documenting as opposed to being an observer. How will I reflect my own story as I illustrate the tales of others via my camera? It’s all illusionary and I know I’m just part of my own waking dream.
I got a dose of reality recently through a recent photography documentary class — address the issue, keep your feelings out. I note my own evolution and admit with time and age I do feel less attached. I hold the important boundaries of everyday and relationships and yet, in a sense my detachment is what is saving me from recoiling into false illusions.
There is no there. It’s here. And I reflect that through my lens. I shoot what I see and as I step to the side for a better angle or move in closer for more detail, I am noting my own desire for deeper clarity.
Autumn has always been my favorite season. The days, the air, keep changing. My frizzy hair reminds me of the unknowingness of what’s to come so I keep it short. And I laugh more. A new companion adorns my shoulder – lighter, more free-ing – this camera moves with me together in sync capturing the now.
I was drawn to these words recently – living spherically — validating where I am and my commitment to self to live in all directions inside and out. And when things get out of control, I bring in humor. I reach out to someone who needs a smile.
As I trolled through my photos I thought …hmmm. water … sphere ….. can I find an image to compliment the words. And yes, here with the jagged edges and decaying tree and water that is what it is. Like we all are. Beings with edges of many facets. True gems we truly are.
Soon, Summer Solstice will be upon us. We are reaching the longest day of the year as the light stretches close to 9pm. I think of swimming, being lazy in a meadow and heading away from the cool breezes in San Francisco to warmer climates across a bridge or southward. Having just been in North Carolina I got a preview of warm temps and I was reminded how fleeting the season is…for here in the city the summer fog creeps in and puts me back into the mystical place of the unknown. I’m getting better at it. I plan my escapes more diligently. And I welcome and as always, photographically capture the changing moods of the season.
Bodies of water hold so much emotion for me. I leaned over to get just the right shot of this pool. A dear friend recently acquired it for his office to basically help staff take a chill break. As I gaze into the depths of this emerald pool I am met by my own complexities and well since it’s Friday and I’m on the down side of the day I will leave this dangling thought to swim around on its own as I merge into the mystery of the weekend.
Yes, there are days when I want to fall out of life.
Just go inward for three days in a row. Minimum movement – to sip some water perhaps.
I just want the inner workings of my mind, body and spirit to overtake the parts of me that are constantly in motion.
Just fall. Into me.
It’s a gray day — that contributes to the note of this hour – listening to Mozart aids the situation – the notes of his sonatas help calm my own drum beats as I float to the sheer force of his musical interpretations.
I know momentary pauses are okay. And soon, I will take a walk to shift my unsettling spirit. For now, I fall into myself.
President Obama’s State of the Union address spotlighted Staff Sgt Cory Remsburg, who, on his 10th deployment in Afghanistan, was found head down in a canal. He survived; however, his way back to recovery is on-going with multiple surgeries and physical challenges. Head injuries left him in a coma for three months. He is blind in one eye; his dad has to help him move. He stands as a symbol that unites us all.
There are times when I want to run. Everything seems to come in undefined packaging baiting me to go deeper to get to the source. I realize I have all the resources. The fears are my own doing. I can walk through them, or I can moan and groan and shackle myself to the confines of my comfy abode.
As an artist, I live in the unknown. I make my way through images that come to me as I walk at twilight through a shadow on a street in the Tenderloin. I discover a streak of illumination highlighting an aging green building holding up a weather beaten, crusty man having a smoke. He appears content in that moment.
I take it as a call to me to rest in the pauses that strengthen my own dilemmas.
Obama noted that Cory Remsburg never gives up and he does not quit. His challenges reflect my inner chatterbox about my unsettling concerns. My action — embrace the mystery as what it is – another deployment – and know, just know – I will not give up.